The United States just turned a Colombian fishing trip into a fireworks show, and not the kind with sparklers and hot dogs. Three alleged narco-terrorists met their maker in a U.S. military strike at sea, courtesy of the Trump administration’s new and improved “War on Drugs: Drone Edition.” The operation, which took place in international waters, was announced by Secretary of War Pete Hegseth, who seems to be enjoying his new role as the guy who sends bad guys to the ocean floor.
According to Hegseth, the boat was cruising along a well-known trafficking route, carrying a “substantial” amount of narcotics. Translation: We’ve been watching these guys for a while, and the moment they left the harbor, we played whack-a-mole with a missile.
“All three terrorists were killed,” Hegseth said, adding that no U.S. forces were harmed. That’s bureaucratic speak for: We sent a drone and pressed a button. Boom. Next.
Of course, not everyone is thrilled about the U.S. playing judge, jury, and cruise missile executioner on the open sea. Colombia’s President Gustavo Petro, who’s made a career out of apologizing for drug traffickers while pretending to be a reformer, cried foul. He insists the boat was just a humble fishing vessel from Santa Marta, manned by a family that simply loved the sea.
Yes, because nothing says “humble fishermen” like navigating a known narco route in international waters with a stash of cocaine bigger than your average CVS pharmacy. According to Petro, the U.S. just assassinated a family of ocean-loving seafood enthusiasts. Maybe they were just out looking for tuna and accidentally stumbled into a multi-million-dollar smuggling operation. Happens all the time.
Petro’s comments were less about facts and more about theatrics. He even threw in a sentimental line about Bolívar and Santa Marta being “the heart of the world,” because apparently we’re doing poetry now. When your argument is weak, wrap it in nationalism and hope nobody notices the holes.
But here’s the thing: the Trump administration isn’t playing by the old rules anymore. Gone are the days of finger-wagging press releases and “deep concern.” Now it’s drones, dead traffickers, and a very clear message: If you smuggle drugs, you may find yourself being turned into fish food at 30 knots.
This latest operation brings the body count of suspected narco-terrorists up to 31. And that’s just since last month. Trump’s war on cartels is starting to look less like a policy and more like a demolition derby with cruise missiles. One day it’s a submersible in the Caribbean, the next it’s a speedboat off Venezuela. It’s like the Navy turned into Seal Team Six’s angrier cousin.
In case anyone’s confused, Colombia’s ELN—the group allegedly tied to this latest incident—isn’t exactly a Rotary Club. They’re a Marxist rebel group with a long, bloody history of bombings, kidnappings, and drug trafficking. Hegseth called them the “Al Qaeda of the Western Hemisphere,” and frankly, that’s being generous. At least Al Qaeda didn’t pretend to be shrimp trawlers.
Naturally, the usual suspects in the media are already wringing their hands over “due process” and “sovereignty.” But let’s be honest—if these guys had made it to shore, they’d be dumping fentanyl into American cities faster than you can say “open borders.” The only court they were headed to was the court of public opinion, where Petro plays defense attorney and the U.S. plays God.
So what comes next? More strikes, more outrage, and probably a few more “humble fishermen” turning out to be cartel logistics officers in flip-flops. The Trump team has clearly decided that waiting around for international cooperation is a sucker’s game. If the cartels want to play narco-Navy, they’ll get treated like enemy combatants. And if that makes a few Latin American politicians uncomfortable—well, maybe they should spend less time romanticizing revolutionaries and more time cleaning up their own backyard.
Until then, the message is simple: Stay off the radar, or get on the radar—of a very armed drone.