Well, would you look at that—Senator John Thune has stumbled upon efficiency, 2025-style. After years of watching Democrats weaponize Senate procedures like a pack of bureaucratic ninjas, the GOP finally decided to stop playing patty-cake and start playing hardball. Thune, now Senate Majority Leader, has cooked up a new rule that lets them bundle Trump’s nominees into one big, juicy vote—like a political value meal. No more endless hearings and procedural footsie. Just line them up, knock them down, and move on.
Of course, to keep the pearl-clutchers in his own party from fainting over the idea of giving up their sacred “individual holds,” Thune added a few “protocols.” Translation: he promised he won’t sneak in any flaming dumpster fires of a nominee without checking with the boys first. If someone in the GOP doesn’t like a nominee, they can still pull the fire alarm and get that name yanked out of the bundle. It’s the Senate equivalent of picking the onions off your burger—messy, but doable.
Thune calls it the “bad apple” rule, which is cute. Because nothing says “we’re serious about governance” like admitting you’re tossing a few questionable characters in with the good ones, but don’t worry, we’ll fish out the real stinkers. This is what passes for oversight in 2025.
Now, don’t confuse this move with anything principled. It’s not about restoring Senate dignity or preserving constitutional norms. It’s about math. Trump’s second term has been a logjam of stalled nominations, thanks to Democrats who’ve decided they can’t win at the ballot box, so they’ll just gum up the works instead. They’ve insisted on roll call votes for nearly every nominee, dragging out the process like a third-rate filibuster marathon. Thune finally realized that playing by Queen Nancy’s old etiquette book was a losing game.
So now, with the blessing of a working group that probably met over dry chicken and lukewarm coffee, Thune’s ready to go nuclear. That’s right—changing the rules with a simple majority, no 67-vote supermajority required. Because let’s face it, trying to get 67 senators to agree on lunch is a challenge, let alone a procedural overhaul. The Democrats did it when it suited them, so now it’s the GOP’s turn to borrow from the same playbook, but with a MAGA twist.
The first wave of 48 Trump nominees could be confirmed by next week. And there are about 150 more waiting in line like kids at a theme park. Some of them need to go back to committee because of a Senate rule quirk (read: paperwork nonsense), but Thune’s confident they’ll all be rubber-stamped by early October. He’s even planning a second, bigger batch—because nothing says “we’re governing” like treating federal appointments like a Costco bulk order.
Naturally, Chuck Schumer is having a meltdown. He tried to block debate on the rule change and called the Senate a “conveyor belt” for Trump’s nominees. Which is rich, considering Chuck was more than happy to grease the wheels when it was his side doing the stacking. Now that it’s Trump’s turn to get his team in place, suddenly it’s a constitutional crisis.
Democrats had briefly flirted with playing nice—some even made “overtures” to negotiate—but once it was clear the GOP wasn’t buying what they were selling, they retreated to their usual position: tantrum mode. Schumer dug in, tried to rally his troops, and failed. Again.
Meanwhile, Trump’s sitting back and watching the show. No need for recess appointments—for now. Thune swears that didn’t even come up in their recent chat, though let’s be real, the threat is always there. Trump doesn’t bluff. If Democrats keep dragging their feet, he’ll happily blow the doors off the Capitol and appoint whoever he wants while Congress is off pretending to work.
So here we are: Senate Republicans finally stopped trying to be the adults in the room and decided to act like winners. Thune’s rule change is a tactical shift, not a philosophical one. It’s not about “restoring tradition”—it’s about ending the Democratic blockade and getting Trump’s people in the building. And if that means changing the rules mid-game? Well, welcome to Washington, where the rules are made to be rewritten—just not by losers.